Why do most people remain in abusive relationships?

Despite having a raw deal in love and actually believing that it is not working out, most people choose to remain in abusive relationships.

The variety of reasons are in no particular order but they are what mostly goes through someone"s head when deciding what to do about abuse. And although most people say they will never endure suffering at someone's own hands, leaving is never quite easy.

We often ask ourselves why she just does not leave, but it is never quite so simple. So many issues keep holding them back. Some of which are:

  • Fear of being alone.
  • Human beings are a social people. We have this constant desire to be loved, groomed and taken care of. Loneliness is a terrifying thought to fathom and in essence no one wants to be alone. Most people stay in abusive relationships because they feel it is better to be in a relationship, than being in no relationship at all. They seek companionship and will get it no matter the cost(even if it means putting their own lives at risk)

  • Belief that people will change
  • Despite the countless broken teeth and nights spent in hospital, most people have faith that their partners will change. It starts with the whole notion that it was just a once off thing and with every ensuing apology, they actually belive that the apologies are coming from the heart. So hope keeps them going...but truth is they never change.

  • They are in love
  • Crazy as it might seem,it is true. Most people stay because they are in love and hence believe that love heals all wounds and sadness. I know most people are wondering how someone can be in love with someone who beats them up. Remember they do not get beaten up every time. They actually have some very blissful times, and if you saw them you would not even believe they have any issues.

  • Fear of what family will say
  • Most people stay because they are afraid of letting their families down and being viewed as disappointments.

  • Fear of being labelled a failure
  • Be it by society or those around them. Even though most people do not ask to be abused, sometimes society places all the blame on the victim and offers no support.

  • Fear that their lives might be in danger
  • Most batterers threaten their partners and hence in the end the victims stay , not because they want to but because they are scared of being hunted down,thereby putting their lives at risk.

  • Have nowhere else to go
  • Most of the people who are in abusive relationships have been alienated from close family and friends. Sadly this does not happen overnight and they do not even realise it when it is happening. You just wake up one day and realise that you have no one to talk to because you have not been in touch with them. In the end you are left stranded and helpless.

  • Fear of being blamed
  • This is especially true in instances say your parents did not approve of your suitor but you went ahead and married him. Most people are afraid that if they divulge the truth, then they will get that I told you so look, which does nothing to ease their situation.

Most people stay in abusive relationships for a wide number of reasons. The reasons why they stay might not make sense to a bystander. But until you have been in such a situation, then only can you understand the dilemma they go through. The pain and misery that is now a part of their very existence.

At the end of the day it is important to ask one simple question. Is it worth it in the end?

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