Communication is central in a relationship.You might have love and everything else but without communication,everything comes tumbling down.
Do you want to work things out in your relationships.Do you talk all the time and never listen?Stop for a while.Communication is not about you talking all the time.You have to be willing to listen.
That is what makes dialogue great.You say what you want,and s/he does too.Do not for one instance make the mistake of thinking that you are the only onewho has something to say about your relationship.Just like relationships are a two way thing,so is talking about how you feel.
You do not have to talk all the time,sometimes you have to listen.Listen and understand what your partner is saying.Listen and understand what your parents are saying to you.Yes,you have your own side of how things are to be done,but listen and then sometimes you will not even have to say anything.You discover that you are on the same page.
Great communication comes from having good listeners.You have to know when to just keep quiet and allow your partner to talk.If both of you talk all the while and nobody listens,all your efforts are in vain.
Sometimes whilst the two of you are desperate to be the first to give their piece of mind ,you lose so many non verbal cues that are also essential in relaying information.What s/he might not be saying is just as important as what she is saying.
S/he might be telling you that nothing is wrong,but if she is crying or sobbing uncontrollably that should tell you something is up.
One important thing to remember however is sometimes we fail to read correctly what is not being said and assume the wrong thing,or worse still some people do not know how to express the way they feel and end up using the wrong non verbal cues.Whatever the case is,it now rests entirely upon your judgement to decipher what is going on.
In order to avoid misconception ,the best thing you can do is try by all means to mean what you say and say what you mean.I for one have had to deal with that kind of problem.
I am what you would call a not so serious person,so even when I am entirely serious,people pass me off as merely bluffing.Only to come later to me and say,"Why didnt you tell me you were serious?"Already you have judged me,even before I have said anything you have formed your assumptions and made your conclusions.
Often people already have their preconceived notions about how we are going to act or react,so without realising it,they act on what they believe they have first and listen later.
You did not listen.So there you have it ,before you form your own ideas of who or what is supposed to go where,listen.Whilst someone is talking try not to look for some underlying meaning because honestly sometimes there is nounderlying meaning.Do not think maybe s/he meant this,no.S/he is right there.Listen and if you do not get it say out that you are lost.Ask what s/he means.Get clarification and work on your issues.
You do not need to communicate just because something has gone wrong.It should be a day to day thing.Talk about how you spent your days,what you intend to do in a couple of days time.
It becomes all worth it if you tell each other your plans.Effective listening and talking will eradicate some of the minor problems in relationships.
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