Is dealing with abuse in a relationship easy?What then do you do?
The question then on most peoples" mind is what then do you do when you are being abused or in an abusive relationship?Is it easy dealing with abuse in a relationship?
The first step in all this is ascertaining whether you are in an abusive relationship or not.From there,you will then be able to act and do the right thing for you.
- Make no excuses for him/her.Never make excuses for him/her.Do not think s/he did that because s/he was drunk.People always use alcohol as a scapegoat.Making excuses only heightens the problem at hand.
- Talk to your friendsThe really disheartening thing is that most of the time,our friends do not even know that we are dealing with abuse at home.Most of the time people feel they cannot talk to family and friends because those are the ones who are quick to judge us.All everyone ever really needs is a helping hand,a friend to talk to.Find someone to talk to who will listen to you without being judgemental.
- Do not wait till it is too late.The sad thing is that one of these fine days,you might not live to tell your tale.If you cannot talk to your friends or family,there are various support groups that can help you out.Whichever country you might be in,you will find a group that that will cater to your needs,and although you do really know them,they offer an objective view.
- Talk to your partnerWhen he is sane that is.Try talking to your partner.If talking does not help,then you need a mediator.This can be a family member or even consider a professional therapist
- Seek professional help.There are many counsellors and therapists who are a phone call or a stones throw away.Sometimes all it takes is a mediator to make things right and sometimes all you need is a mediator to confirm that there is a deeper underlying problem that you alone are not able to handle.
- Do not blame yourself.Often people who are dealing with abuse actually believe that they called it upon themselves.That it is their fault they are in the abusive relationship.No matter the extent of abuse,they still believe it is their fault.
- Be honest with your friends and familyKeeping abuse under wraps will help no one ,lest of all you.You need to be honest with your family and tell them what is really going on.Remember hiding this will do no good,instead you will magnify your problems.
People do not always react the same way to abuse.Leaving is always the toughest decision that one has to make.But you need to decide what it is you want.Is this good for the children?(if there are children involved)Obviously it is not a good environment for the children.Is there any hope that things will get better?Will he change?
Once you are able to answer these questions,then you can make a decision based on what is good for you.And most importantly,through it all,you will need the love and support of your family and friends
Return to Abuse from dealing with abuse
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