What role does forgiveness play in the cementing of relationship? What does it take to move forward?



Why do many relationships fail, despite a lot of hardwork , commitment and whatever it is that you do to spice up your relationship? Time and time again we have seen so many people we thought were great together terminate their relationships. Most people have wondered why and I think I know the answer to that.

For too long we hold on to the humiliating /degrading moments that we have gone through in our lives and fail to realise that holding grudges does not help in cementing our relationships.

In order to accomplish all that we ever want and need in a relationship, you should be able to look at someone and though they are doing something horrible to you, tell them that you it is al-right, it does not matter. Forgiveness is the key to unlocking all your family and relationship drama, and have a more meaningful relationship.

It is not easy, especially when you think of all that you have gone through and how much that specific person contributed to your demise.

You hurt all over again and you get angry and the cycle continues, just when you think you are on the path to recovery, when you think you have everything under control, the cyle continues once again.

Then over time you take a look at yourself and cannot understand why it is that things are not changing for you. Without forgiveness you seem stagnant because despite all the effort you make in your life, you find yourself retreating to that point when you have been vulnerable.

There is a great quote I came across the other day,

" Even if someone throws a stone at you, respond with food"

This beautiful quote in a way sums up what forgiveness is all about. A little hard to put into practise but if you do, things will change and light up for the good.

No matter how many times you have been hurt, humiliated, degrded you owe it to yourslf to always reveal the goodness and kindness that is in your heart. Remember two wrongs do no make a right.

Most of the times people just want to revenge and hurt those who have hurt you but sometimes the best revenge as all is doing nothing, carrying on as if nothing has happened that sure will get their attention and actually leads to introspection on their parts.

  • Marriage
  • Many marriages hve been absolved because people have failed to acknowledge that ,
    'To err is human, but to forgive divine.'
    We expect our partners to be some super human beings and thus fail to fathom that they will hurt us.

    Day in ,day out we write everything down even those times that we said it was really okay. We always promise each other that you will start on a clean slate. But what happens the next time that you have an arguement,'you refer to the last time that you did this,you said you would not do it again'. Makes you wonder hey, considering the slate was clean.

  • Family
  • We could learn quite a lot from our relationships with our families. How despite all the run-ins with the law,they are always by our side and never stop loving us.

    What will see your relationship through anything is forgiveness because then it will teach you to give unconditional love.Even at most people's darkest times you will stand by them.

In order to be able to forgive others you need to forgive yourself first. The instant you stop calling yourseves names and beating yourself up about how you could have been so blind, you begin to feel better about your life. You even begin to realise that it had to happen so you could learn this life time lesson.

It is not always easy to forget but remembering is not a crime. There are just some things that you cannot block out from your life,terrifying as they might have been. But instead of wondering why it happened, be glad you pulled through it and are wiser.

This is a choice you make. And most times the people , maybe, do not deserve it. But in spite of all the facts and reasons you have in front of you, you chose not to retaliate.

Return to Letting go from Forgiveness


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