Are assumptions healthy for any relationship?Read on and find out why people always make assumptions.
How often have you made assumptions about issues or people you clearly did not have an idea about?
More often than we realise ,right?So then why do we make assumptions and are these any good for any relationship at all?
Whilst everyone"s opinion ought to be respected,jumping to conclusions can be quite devastating especially if you are the one being assumed about.
We honestly cannot change a person's opinion of us overnight but thinking you know someone hurts the most.
Why then do we assume we know something when we have no clue whatsoever.I guess the issue is we like being in the know all the time.You know that feeling that "I have gone through that and I totally get you".Sometimes we are right in thinking all these things but relationships can do without all this.
My theory is that we assume because we would like to have that feeling that we know and totally get someone.Maybe that feeling that we are in control and have the upper hand.
Clearly assumptions are wrong if we are to communicate with anyone.I do not dispute the fact that we have all made some assumptions at some point in our lives.
And how wrong were we? Most of the times we actually thought we had an idea of what was going on."Look at her prancing about,she thinks she is it.
"S/he does not talk to me s/he thinks s/he is high and mighty"
"My daughter/son is always locking herself/himself in his/her room, maybe she is doing drugs"
"She wants to talk to me,maybe she is pregnant"
"My boyfriend/husband is angry.
"S/he was promoted because s/he is having an affair with the boss
I admit in some instances we are right,but are we not all against judging a book by its cover.Till we get our facts right ,we have no right to make those assumptions.
I guess the sad reality is that sometimes we fail to reach out to people who need us because we are busy thinking about ME ME ME.
Sometimes we fail to realise that people fail to talk to us because there vis a deeper underlying problem that you might actually not be able to handle.
In order to form or maintain any relationships at all,all preconceived notions are to be discarded.Impossible right...might seem that way but at the end of it all what matters is that in life everybody deserves a chance.Deserves to be heard even when you are clearly thinking otherwise.
The only way to reach out and form new bonds is by retreating for a while.Time to change your views about people.See good in people for a change.Think that maybe the reason s/he does not talk to you is that s/he has problems of her own .Problems you cannot even fathom.
How often have we felt shame at some of the things we thought about our colleague only to realise that we really knew nothing.
Let your friend come to you and not be afraid that you will assume that she is a cry baby.
Even after being married for a lifetime,or been in a family forever,we are always discovering new things each day.Things we never even knew.
Remember when life"s challenges are coming at you,do not assume that other people will know relay your issues.Listen and take time to know people before jumping to conclusions(wrong one at that)about them.
Return to Communication from Assumptions
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