What is 'friends with benefits'?What does this do for your relationship?It is quite interesting.
When I talked about boundaries I actually got to thinking about this new or so not new craze going around.'Friends with benefits!'.It is quite not so new for over the years we have heard how people talk about no strings attached.So in essence the terminology is new.
I actually think that people have coined a new,more appealing term to just complicate their relationships.I mean really you say you are friends...so where do these "benefits" come in.
You would think they are talking about the benefits of having someone listen to you,a shoulder to cry on or someone being there for you because they want to.But no it is far more complex than that.We are talking about friends making out,and maybe even more than that.
Then at the end of it all you find that things are complicated.They will be complicated because this in itself is just a relationship doomed to fail from the start.
When people talk about no strings attached ,what do they really mean?The mere mention of these words might actually mean that even though you do not realise it,there are strings attached.
The thing about relationship is that often people know what the want.It is fear that just holds people at bay.Fear of commitment,of being hurt and of making a mistake.But if you never make that mistake how can you learn from it?Maybe you are so hell bent on thinking it is a mistake that you are willing to ruin a good thing.
The whole 'friends with benefits' relationship asks nothing of you.You do not have to commit and there are to be no questions as to why you acted in a certain way.
In most cases however,these so called friends actually begin to develop feelings towards each other but do not know how to embrace that new feeling.They settle for less only to get hurt in the end.
It is way better to talk about your feelings towards each other,if the feeling is mutual maybe pursue a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship.If the feelings are not mutual great,you can actually start going out and find someone who will want to spend their life with you.
But often this is not something that people talk about ."It just happens!"Really...Things like this do not just happen
So if you are seriously considering this,stop fr a minute and think.It is not such a good idea.What happens if you develop feelings and the other party does not ? Heart break!.Which is where relationships-are-complicated.com comes in,to show you that you do not need to complicate your life.You can take simple steps,just to make sure that you do not go that way.
Chances are if you do decide to go the 'friendship with benefits' route and it does not work out,you will destroy your friendship.So do take the time to find out if you both feel the same way.You might be friends but there is no fast rule against friends dating.
If there are to be any benefits at all from friendship it is supposed to benefit both parties.But in the 'friends with benefits'scenario one party stands to gain.It is definitely not a win-win for both parties.
This was just some words used by people who clearly had feelings for their friends but were unsure how they would react.
Return to Boundaries from friends with benefits
Have your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below.