How often have you found yourself judging other people,even with limited information we are always quick to judge.Read on and find out what this does to your relationship.
In conversation there are times when you find yourself judging.Your partner because of the decision they have just made.It might even be your child for the way they are behaving,your sibling for their lack of understanding,your friend for not being there for you.
I could go on and on but really,the list of the scenarios that could actually be taking place is endless.We are critical of people because of the way they act when we are around them,or even the way we assume they act when we are not there.
Sometimes,actually often, there is always a reason but we never give them the chance to explain.In our minds it is simple,'s/he was not there for me,therefore s/he is a bad friend.If only it were as easy as that.
For communication to take place in a relationship,you have to be able to resist doing that.Quite tough I admit,but it really is necessary.
The fact that someone opens up to you,requires,yes even if you have your own view points,it simply requires that you do not become critical of that person and how s/he handled it.Strange to say,more often than not,they actually know they could have handled it differently.So there really is no point in you making them feel bad abut it.
If you become judgemental that will definitely set the mood the conversation will take.Say you have a problem and you go to your friend,maybe to just vent ,and they start labelling you as weak or any other things,will you ever go back to that person to vent.I can safely bet you wouldn't.It then actually goes both ways then.
What we do need to realise is that just because someone is a poor judge of character or even makes lousy mistakes does not warrant that we scoff them.
Criticism always finds a way of ruining relationships.You can then imagine what constant criticism will do.It makes a person feel worthless and unloved.
Communication means that you will give your 'honest opinion',and even then,that is not to say you point out what is wrong or right.Because if truth be told,most people already know,what is wrong or right.
What we fail to realise is that all those people we care about will not come to us if they felt like they are constantly under the microscope,with each and every action being dissected.Then we wonder later on why they did not come to us when they had a problem.This might be one of the many reasons why.
The greatest gift we can ever offer in communication is support.That says a lot about your relationship.
And then sometimes we might mistake concern for criticism.Take for example a parent -child relationship(or any relationship for that matter).The parties involved always have expectations of how the other is supposed to act.Failure to live up to those expectations will mean that some antagonism will take place.
In general though we have been brought up to be judgemental of others .We need to overcome that to ensure smooth relationships.To be able to look at things with open minds and remove the blinkers we have.
Return to Communication from Judging
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