Even when you think all hope is gone,you might be able to mend your relationship
There are times when all hope seems lost and you have almost given up on your relationship.You constantly ask yourself if it is worth it at all.
Relationships are complicated.What makes things worse is the fact that every individual is a unique individual with his/her own perceptions on how things should be.Because of this uniqueness we often unintentionally /intentionally hurt others.We argue and say mean things to one another just so people can also feel what we are feeling.
After quarrelling,most people can spend days without talking to one another.You are so blinded by rage that you take too long to mend your relationships and create unnecessary tensions in your lives.
The funny thing is the pain and hurt you feel from the continued strain is greater than the issues that made you fight or quarrel in the first place.We need to understand that just because we are in love or family it does not mean that we will always agree on issues.
To argue is quite a common thing in relationships.You need to focus on how to mend your relationship.
Even when it seems like there isn"t any hope that you will ever resolve the arguement,things always have a way of sorting themselves out.Sometimes arguements can lead to people breaking up.
No one wants to acknowledge they were wrong and hence people just decide to throw in the towel.Often anger makes us do things that we will regret when we are back to our normal selves.There is no relationship that can necessarily be called beyond repair except in two cases involving abuse and adultery and even then sometimes people do work things out.
The main important things are that:
But before you can even talk about willingness to try,
- You have to be willing to try to make this work.Relationships are a two way street and both of you have to give to this relationship inorder for it to work
- You have to acknowledge there is a problem.You cannot try to solve anything if you do not talk about what the problem is.So the first step is to admit that something is wrong.
- Do not let your egos get in the way.Apologise.It is amazing what an apology can achieve.the issue is not just to apologise and instantly everything is alright.Apologise and mean it.
- Listen.You both what to say what went wrong but the key is to also listen to each other.
- Do not point fingers.If anyone is to blame here it is both of you.So stop with the blame game already.Anway pointing out who was wrong or right will only fuel the fire.If need be you can actually take the blame .Even when you know you were right.
So before you start thinking that your relationship is irreparable,talk things through.If you are angry,go somewhere to cool off.Resolve your problems when both of you are sane.
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